To Retreat, Or Not To Retreat, 08/25

I just came off of my yearly 5-day retreat, Landing Together, at Northern Edge Algonquin. I am reflecting on retreats in general and will share via these three subjects.

Why do retreats matter?

What makes a good retreat?

Why retreats are a crucial part of my business but not central.

Retreats may not interest you, but I encourage you to read on and explore what I have to say from the perspective of your yoga classes or even the time you take to retreat for yourself.

I have done retreats in many ways for many years. What I have never done is an international retreat. I just can’t handle the hassle of navigating other people’s airplane and border issues. It makes me itchy just to think about it. Maybe one day… but also maybe not. Just don’t suggest Scotland or I may cave.

Why do retreats matter?

I want to approach this from 2 perspectives, that of the client and then the teacher (you and me). 

The Client

Retreats create the opportunity for a really deep transformation, pulling people out of their habits and ways to be able to focus on themselves exclusively. Wow. What a courageous choice this always is!

The same courage is required to book a class because it is a choice of self over others. There are a million things one can get done instead of going to a class, but your clients are choosing themselves by choosing your class. This is a big deal.

Now multiply that by a whole lot and you have a retreat. 

Jan, who came to the retreat last week, told me prior to leaving that she was as nervous as a kid going to summer camp for the first time! Josee asked me how we dress for dinner. Others asked about presents to bring to other participants. 

These jitters are all about our desire to belong. The nervousness of summer camp is all about whether or not we will have a good time; meet our BFFs; and come out unscathed. Retreats bring out this same childlike worry. We are going to sleepaway camp with potential strangers! How is this going to go? Can I really be me there? Will I snore? Will I fart? Will others?

One big priority for me is to have yoga as an activity within the first hour of arrival. Some participants might arrive late, but it is still worth gathering on the mat and creating a group bond non-verbally. Through that yoga practice, people let go of the jitters, the road angst, and settle into their own skin within the group who will be their tribe for the duration.

Time is a really interesting concept. Before COVID, I mostly taught 1.5 hour classes and had 3 hour workshops. I would talk about the time before us and how there was just so much of it! Imagine 5 days… 

Transformation is inevitable.

A couple of the participants had become widowed within 6 months of the retreat. The big thing they both said was that they were so tired of being flippantly asked “How are you doing?” At the retreat, no one asked that without waiting for a full answer, because we had time. 

One woman shared her survivor story in our very last circle. She had only ever told 3 people in her entire life. She told 24 of us and we all cried with her.

Trust is fostered over the days, but that is not guaranteed. As a facilitator, I must be really alert to and aware of what is happening between and within people. I work really well with my co-facilitator provided by the Edge, Vicki Waters. She and I adjust all of our content through watching, listening, and responding to what the group is moving through. That builds trust. Vicki and I trust each other because we have done this dance at least 5 times now. We know we can lean on each other and the participants. This year we had 2 more facilitators – one, Elaine, to shadow and learn from Vicki and the other was my sister who was there to do massages. It felt like a really solid net for people to rest into, and boy was there ever a need for nets!

There was a lot of the air element in this retreat. Many participants were overly chatty and uncomfortable with unresolved stories or situations. I’ll give you a quick example. I shared the time that my niece accompanied me to California and how upset we both were when we parted in Sacramento. A few people stopped me from continuing the story worried that I had abandoned her there. I couldn't continue until I had explained that I had left her with her dad who flew home with her. Air is anxious and constantly asks “What if?” Why would I leave my 10 year old niece unattended in California? There was a lot of upward, nervous energy ready to pounce on any potential disaster! That frenzy required a lot of patience on my part and the artful dodging of the well meaning fawning behaviour.

On day 4, we decided that it was a good day for a hike instead of more spoken content. Vicki and Elaine suggested that we should be in silence. Well, it was pure magic. Inviting this group to be silent as they walked through the forest to a lake changed the vibe completely. They grounded. They landed. The antidote to excessive air (anxiety and swirl) is trust. The silence within nature fostered an inner trust.

The gift of a retreat for your clients is the gift of time and space. Don’t overcrowd your content. Let them have space. Let it be about them and you will have a winning retreat. They will come away transformed, full, and holding far greater self-compassion.

For Instructors

You are retreating too! I will be upfront and say that I was stinking exhausted after this retreat. It was a whopper of emotions and a whole lot of energy focus for me. That isn’t always true, but it was with this group. The Edge has honed their process in such a way that, as a facilitator, I usually leave with my cup quite full. There is an abundance there and it flows through us all. I don’t want to sound like a placard for Northern Edge but I honestly don’t want to do a retreat anywhere else. I have yet to find another place that honours their facilitators as much as their guests. I always leave having evolved.

Wait a second, I didn’t even mention that this retreat was without wifi or cell. Take a moment and visualize yourself by a lake with no notifications. That’s right, none. And, at the Edge, they ask that facilitators arrive a day early. I love this policy! It ensures that all facilitators are actually there when guests arrive but it also means that we have done our tech detox as well as relaxed a little before guests arrive. We have already landed and so we are better at helping others to do so. 

As much as I was tired from this particular retreat, I also felt fulfilled, empowered and aware of stepping into a stronger version of my own path. Having my sister on the retreat was interesting to see my actions through her eyes. Being high in the water element, I thrive in the flow without even knowing it. She gave me a chance to see the dance more clearly. This was a huge gift to me. 

Diving into the deep, personally & professionally: Being an instructor at a retreat gives us the opportunity to teach on far deeper levels. We can explore much more about the larger picture of yoga – from the way we move to the way we eat and communicate. 

Not only are your clients inspired but you absolutely will be too! Imagine witnessing people immersing in the beauty of yoga philosophy! I can never stop learning from these philosophies and so every time I present them, I understand them more. It is an incredible journey for you as an individual but also as a facilitator.

Intimacy & bonds: The retreat experience will bring you closer to your clients. Admittedly this is a pro and a con as there will always be people who you jived with better when you knew them less. That is just reality. But for the most part, you will form bonds that are longer lasting and therefore support long term commitment from your clients! Attachment on this level is just smart business! Let people associate you authentically with peace, transformation, and vulnerability and I bet your client base grows!

Financially: Retreats create a good financial infusion, as they should. This is a lot of work for you, no matter how you slice it! It is also a big investment for your clients and you should reap a good portion of that because it is your magic. Tooting the Edge horn again, they ask you to name a programming fee. Being someone that has run a whole bunch of retreats from start to finish, I think this is really smart. I have often priced a retreat, factoring in food and accommodations, but like all good women, undervaluing my actual contribution. Or how about the cost of credit card processing, deposits etc? You need to cost all of this if you are running a solo retreat as opposed to using a centre that does this for you. 

I did a few retreats with a company that specialized in very high end, expensive retreats. It was fascinating to watch the organizer run herself ragged trying to give in excess to people that lived with excess. It was exhausting to watch her and I felt her actions took away from the potential depth and ease that participants could have felt. At the Edge, we all do the dishes. A couple of participants bus the tables and clean the dishes! People love this and take their role really seriously because it is a way of participating in the success of the retreat.  

Don’t kill yourself. Fill yourself up. Your clients will follow your lead.

As a facilitator, you should come out feeling abundance in your bank account following a retreat! Yes, you might instead have that abundance translate into a holiday. I have often wondered about running a retreat in Scotland and tacking on a couple of weeks for a family holiday that is already paid for. How great would that be??? I warned you about Scotland....

As with so many things I have already said, let the retreat bring you the abundance you want, from connections, to rest time, and to your bank account. 

I want to say something that isn’t just about retreats but it is something that I have learned over the years. Don’t try to be your clients’ bookkeeper. Set your prices so that you can do what you love for a living. Don’t set your prices asking if people can afford it. Yes, be aware of market value and the kinds of clients you are hoping to attract, but don’t decide on others’ behalf if they can afford it. People spend a lot of money on a lot of crazy things. Let one of those things be a retreat or a class with you.

I have a trio that have come to every single one of my long August retreats. I keep thinking that they will decide that they have done enough and spent enough but they keep returning! One of them told me that she was feeling greedy in taking up space each year! Isn’t it hilarious that we both were apologizing for our actions – she was apologizing for returning and I was worried/apologizing for charging her again? I asked her to keep being greedy. They have all registered for next August.

What makes a good retreat?

I love this question because I have a whole lot of answers. Truthfully though, you will have to find YOUR way to your best retreat. Some want mornings in noble silence, for example. Some instructors are okay with alcohol being a part of their retreat. Others want only bland steamed veggies for a digestive reset. You need to figure that part out. Here are the things that I have learned that really matter to me for my retreats.

Comfort. I have done retreats at camps whose beds are built for elastically built children plus one that had only outhouses. Despite the beauty of a place and your best efforts at a great experience, if people can’t sleep or are grossed out by outhouses, you are literally in the shitter. 

Comfort matters but bear in mind that it also increases the price. You can certainly get around these issues with honest and upfront marketing, perhaps narrowing your niche but improving the odds of a successful retreat. It is all in the wording!

I like comfort and so do my clients. If I sleep well and have space to feel organized and nested, I facilitate better.

Good nourishment that respects dietary needs. People with dietary restrictions can be really worried about going to a retreat for what might happen to the progress they have made on their healing journey. Food will likely have been an issue that kicked them out of belonging from a whole bunch of parties and holidays! Don’t let it be an issue on your retreat. It doesn’t have to be fancy, but make it good and safe for all. It matters. One client on this past retreat brought her own bread because she knew she could trust it. That made her feel safe. Fantastic.

A good yoga space. Does this seem obvious? It isn’t. This is the downfall of a whole lot of retreat centres that I have used. From really noisy outdoor tents with inadequate heaters, to rooms too small to go deeply, or finally to floors that were not built for savasana, I have lived it all. The Edge has just finished an unbelievable space called Radiance. Prior to that, we used various rooms that either kicked the family out of their living spaces or were awkwardly sized. Radiance has been a game changer for me. Without a good space, it is challenging to do the deeper work.

A lot of spaces offer outdoor areas but my revelation is that I don’t connect as well without walls. Walls help me to go more deeply with my clients. My voice is soft but it is more than that. I think I like the safety of the womb. Plus, jet skis and boating yahoos can really detract from the vibe, as can goose poop and pine needles lodging in unfortunate places.

A spacious agenda. I have already mentioned this, but don’t overcrowd your agenda. People retreat because they need to literally retreat. They don’t need more stimulation. I have been part of retreats where the facilitators insisted that even mealtime be a guided meditative experience. All moments were filled with content in some form which left everyone overstimulated and tired. People need time to hear themselves and their deep desires. This may be uncomfortable for some, but isn’t that important information? Give people time to ask the most revolutionary question of all: “What do I need right now?”

Clearly created and communicated intentions for the retreat. I have learned that I offer retreats as a way to delve more deeply into the yogic and ayurvedic philosophies. I know they are incredibly transformative, so I weave them into the intention for my retreat. The Edge asks that we all create inspirations – a paragraph of action and intention for the retreat, generated by the hopes and dreams expressed in the intake forms. I love this. We read it every day with the group to make sure that we are all on board. The inspiration and intention holds us all on track and as a group.

I have taught at retreats where the yoga is just a part of a larger experience of decadence including alcohol. I have nothing against alcohol but I don’t want a retreat that revolves around it. I would prefer a retreat to get away from the habits we use. 

I wonder about international retreats and whether the time together would be more about geography and sight seeing than the journey inward. I really like the inward journey and that is what my peeps have come to expect.

So, a retreat is made great when people feel safe, guided but not driven, nourished, and respected. This all includes you BTW. You need to feel all of those things too.

Why retreats are a crucial part of my business but not central.

I actually couldn’t tell you how many retreats I have done but it is way over 20. I remember housesitting at a home suitable for retreats and running one per month for 3 months. They have always been a crucial part of my business because they generate really good income plus they make a loyal clientele more loyal, and as I said previously, I love the depth. I typically do one to three per year, but not more. Three is actually a lot. My third this year is a specialty retreat that is for health care providers and so doesn’t ask more of my client base.

A retreat is a far more convoluted endeavor than a class or a workshop. There is far more prep, from organizing the location, to marketing, registrations, and finally to execution.

Are you putting a deposit on a site and then marketing like mad to fill it? I have lost a number of deposits. Often these retreats failed to run because it was best that they did not. If I rush to the gate, I don’t often listen to that little whisper inside that asks if I really have the energy for this.

Like classes, I would rather have fewer retreats that are full than more retreats that are only at half capacity. Adding more classes dilutes the others you teach, right? Twenty more people don’t become your students because you added one class, but your current students spread out over more classes. So, if I add more than one retreat to a summer, I risk diluting both the numbers and my energy for marketing and facilitating. 

I know teachers who mostly do retreats as their business. This is a very different business model. My business model is about sustained connection and so regular classes with a couple of retreats makes way more sense to me. 

If you are like me, you are running weekly classes, workshops, trainings, and high ticket programs. How do you market all of that plus retreats without sounding like an annoying and greedy slick salesman? I am settling into knowing that I have limited bandwidth for marketing and so do my clients. I am the kind of teacher that has followers because they know and trust me. I risk losing that trust if my posts are only about selling. Similarly, I don’t want to broadcast events in classes because I feel that people are there for reasons other than being sold to.

Aside from marketing, leading a retreat takes a lot of energy. I am aware of people 24 hours a day. I don’t sleep as well, as I am often processing while sleeping. I make sure that I sit beside a different person at all meals so that each person gets a chance to let me know how they are doing. I need to know.  If my tank is already depleted from the run up to the retreat, I am kind of in trouble. 

So, as with so many things, less is more. If my business revolved around retreats, I would feel differently, but I prefer my retreats to be organized by someone else and hosted by those same magical people. I want to prep content, do the marketing in the theme of the content, and then I want to show up with energy to be able to lead a really excellent experience for people. I have too much other stuff going on to do this any other way. 

In closing….

I absolutely love running retreats in moderation, with clear intention and conscious gathering. I long for the deep dive into my own soul as I facilitate others in the same dive. I love going off line in order to go inwardly. 

I also know that my business is always better as a tripod. I teach weekly classes, do high ticket training and courses, and I lead retreats. All of the legs matter and need equal investment of energy and care. This is how I have been able to be a full time yoga instructor for over 25 years. I have a steady base that I maintain.

So maybe you have dreamt of leading a retreat. I hope this has helped you to know more about that choice. I would love to hear from those of you that do this as their primary business! How is that for you? What are the upsides and the downsides? 

What are you dreaming of these days?

P.S. I am holding out hope that over the next 2 years Devinder Kaur and I will collaborate to bring you a teachers’ retreat. Wouldn’t that be incredible???? Let’s do it. Let’s hold that dream together!