What Do You Value, 04/25

How do you earn a living while respecting your own values, boundaries, and needs?

I'm going to make this one a brief letter because I am actually technically on holiday and off to Pelee in a couple of hours. But I really wanted to write this brief note on my need for depth and substance (irony) to return to the practice of yoga.

I had a couple of hard moments yesterday. One occurred as a client asked me to extend her package's expiry date (exhaustingly frequent request) and the other as a request to do a shorter version of something I believe should be long. The latter ended up in a very sweet exchange about how substance is needed now more than ever, but sometimes we have to write the short letter.

Today is a better day, but yesterday my heart was aching and my teeth were clenching. This is a reality in our work, isn't it? As much as we all practice faith and recite the affirmations, sometimes making a living is bleeping hard. And it is especially hard when your heart and soul want the best.

That this is soul work makes it complicated work, but also the most rewarding. I am not teaching yoga. I am offering a space for people to find their sweetness through yoga and then bring that out into the world. That takes time and it also takes commitment on my part and theirs. When someone asks to extend their package when they haven't shown up for months, it hurts a little. I'm committed to their practice, but are they?

As teachers we are managing a lot! There are the actual bodies that are achy and injured; there are the minds that are anxious; the nervous systems that are frayed; and quite honestly, there are stories from people that are not even in the class but carried by those that are. All of that is the orchestra that we are trying to conduct. Not to mention that we have our own inner music of scarcity, imposter syndrome, and life's obligations.

I wouldn't have it any other way. I thrive in complexity. I love depth.

One of the reasons that I found home with Esther and Vanda's work is because they embraced exploration. I remember Esther lovingly teasing me that we were doing yet another pose that I did not know. She was right! She never stuck to the rote 15 poses.

In her classes, we explored poses. Her instruction would be "Okay folks, let's do some cobra poses." And then she would say some cues but mostly it was up to us to see what the pose held for us and go way beyond it. Bear in mind, all classes were one hour + 45 minutes!

I am noticing now that every class (one hour max) has to have the same 12-15 poses, as though that was a purity of yoga. Poses like Downward Dog are relatively new to the yoga world but now we treat them as essential gospel! The imagination and creativity is disappearing along with our clients (and our own) attention spans.

As someone that wants to earn a good living, do I have to bend to this wind or should I stand in my beliefs and hold out for the depth? Well, short answer is do both but never go against your values.

My values are belonging, connection, and expansion. Safe spaces, depth of investigation, and time are all woven into this.

I like offering classes of exploration. I miss classes that were longer than 1 hour but I am pretty sure that people can't fathom a longer class right now. In answer to that, I offer workshops, often monthly. Frankly, this is an excellent income boost because the fee is higher. It is a specialty experience that I notice people really jump on.

Instead of a 600 hour YTT, I've bent to 200 and 300. But I will not lessen the depth. I don't teach you how to teach specific vinyasa flows, but I will teach you how to break down any posture into its components so you can teach a complex and effective class. I don't want to create automatons. I want to foster the real goal of yoga which is Self-knowledge.

We do this work so we can know ourselves better. We don't do yoga to know it better. And so, if I am to know myself better, I need time to explore, safe space, and good loving cues. This is true on the mat and off, but I learned it on the mat.

This morning I am aware that I need to make some adjustments to honour myself. I need to set some lines around when and where I will extend expiry dates because then I am valuing myself (belonging). I can't rant to my close ones but not change my behaviour. Integrity and honesty matter.

I'm curious to know how this lands with you. What is your experience with not honouring your own values and boundaries? Under what circumstances did you bend? For money (scarcity) or for love (fitting in)? What did you learn about you in the process? What shifted?

For now, I am off to reflect. I have my journal. I have time. It will be a safe space. I already have my loving cues lined up.

See below for an upcoming workshop on hands-on assisting. It is going to be a deep exploration of the power of touch to really increase your efficacy as a teacher. One of my former clients is a trauma survivor and a psychotherapist. She said that although touch is not suggested for trauma survivors, her greatest healing moments were with me when I assisted her.

It matters. Connection is the healing path forward. Do it well. Do it often.

I'm off to fill my cup, I hope you are too